


In the wake of visions

by untropicalisland



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, canon-typical alcohol use, spoilers for episode 105, yes i only write downtime conversations no i have no excuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25886650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untropicalisland/pseuds/untropicalisland
Summary: The Mighty Nein decompress and avoid talking about psychic visions by talking about arguably more intense if less world-changing problems
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	1. The mountain, the tree, and the river (Caleb, Caduceus, and Yasha's conversation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb begins to summon a cat, Caduceus obliquely admits he may have a problem, Yasha is somehow the wisest person here

For a long while as they all lay on the deck of one of the stashed-away ships, no one spoke. They had spent a terrifying half hour with the hut shielding them from the scalding water, and as long swimming through the caverns, the silence punctuated only by Caleb calling out the directions in which to swim.

Beau and Fjord both found it hard to sit still, though, and began to see which ships might make a good substitute for the one the dragon turtle had destroyed. “We’ll find out which ones belong to people, so we’ll need a few options, but the older ones especially seem promising” Fjord had said.  
Jester and Veth had meanwhile migrated over to the bow and struck up a quiet conversation with Vilya, perhaps to distract themselves. Caduceus had folded himself into a meditative pose and Yasha, hesitantly, had done the same.

Caleb began digging through his bags for incense, hoping he had enough.

“You looking for something? That creature might have taken it - I still need to get my hat and my wok in the morning,” said Caduceus, opening his eyes.  
“No, I don’t think I lost anything, I just don’t know if I have enough incense to turn the octopus back into a cat,” said Caleb. Caduceus rummaged in a pocket and handed Caleb a neat packet.  
“Will this do?”

“Thank you,” said Caleb. “Are you sure you don’t need it?”

“I’ve got enough for now,” said Caduceus, resuming his posture. As Caleb began to prepare the brazier he felt the unmistakable sense of some kind of spell being cast just beyond him.

It was Caduceus, who Caleb realized, now that he was paying attention, was breathing harder than his injuries warranted, had been focusing on the breath in meditation perhaps a little too much. Caleb could feel the edges of the spell. Some kind of enchantment, it felt like. It came to Caleb immediately - months ago, the giants.  
He looked up from the brazier.

“You know,” he said, “it was a very good idea of yours to have us say our names like that each morning. I do not know if I would have noticed the problem this morning without the habit.”

“Thanks,” said Caduceus. “It’s something my mother had my sister - Calliope, Clarabelle was too little then - do once.”

“Oh?” said Yasha, who had similarly given up on meditation the moment Caleb and Caduceus began speaking.

“She ran into a wasps nest,” said Caduceus, as Caleb winced. “I forget how many stings she had, but she didn't cry much. She started to get all dizzy. Coulton carried her and I ran ahead to get Corrin and my parents. It was shock, Corrin said, so while Corrin started on the healing my mother had Calliope run through everyone’s names. It helped her stay present and awake so we knew she was okay.”

“It takes your mind elsewhere. Especially with your family,” said Caleb. “Calliope, Cornelius, Caduceus,”

“You’d fit right in,” said Caduceus.

“I suppose I would,” said Caleb, with a faint smile. “I imagine Reani has brought them safely home. Have you asked Jester to contact them?”

Caduceus shook his head.

“I’m sure she would do it,” said Yasha. “Perhaps not today,” she added, “after all the healing you and Jester have done, but tomorrow.”

Caleb had heard Jester and Caduceus make their preparations in the mornings, and was fairly sure Caduceus could contact them tomorrow as well.

“We always would wait, when they were on pilgrimages,” said Caduceus quietly. “I suppose we had to - maybe Corrin would have been able to contact us, but it’s just not how things were done.”

“You have done many new things,” said Caleb.

“The way things are done is not a good one, sometimes,” said Yasha. "Sometimes you need to change it." Caduceus turned to her then.

“Change is...much easier, when you’re watching someone else do it” said Caduceus. Caleb wished he had already cast his spell and could send Frumpkin to Caduceus, but Yasha spoke up again.

“What does the Wildmother say about change?”

Caduceus paused and sighed - not sadly, just contemplatively. “Nature changes, but it returns. Seasons, life, leaves on trees.”

“Not always,” said Caleb. “When we get out of here there will be a lot of new rock. The island will have a differently shaped mountain, and I know this was not a natural eruption, but this is what happens with any volcano.”

“Lightning strikes trees sometimes,” said Yasha. “Or storms bring down branches, or a flood changes the shape of a river, and they don’t go back, but often they are still around.”

Caduceus smiled a little. “That is all very true, and very hard on the mountain, or the tree, or the river.”

Yasha shrugged. "It is," she said.

“Well, it’s something to think about,” Caduceus said, and resumed his seated position. To Caleb, it sounded as though his breath was more measured and even now.

Yasha unexpectedly caught Caleb’s eye, and he looked down quickly at the incense. “I’ll be bringing back Frumpkin in about an hour,” he said. “I will send him your way.”

“Do you mind if I watch?” asked Yasha. “I don’t think I can meditate right now, and the herbs smell nice.”

“Not at all,” muttered Caleb, and began the spell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took some D&D liberties re: Caleb recognizing a spell but also as someone who's been under enchantments with some frequency I think it's fair  
> There is something a little heartbreaking about casting calm emotions on yourself, even if it seems very reasonable.


	2. I can stand in front of him with a sword (Fjord and Beau's conversation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau gives Fjord some extremely necessary advice

“Do you know what that vision was?” Fjord asked her as soon as they were out of earshot. Beau could still see her friends back on the deck, in two clusters of three - Caleb looking through his bag by Yasha and Caduceus, Jester and Veth speaking with Vilya - as she turned to look at Fjord.

“The city? No. Is that what visions are like? Are you supposed to get headaches after them?” she asked. She’d wiped the blood from her ears and done a few sums in her head to make sure everything was fine, and she was pretty sure it was, but her head was still pounding.

Fjord didn’t answer, just put a hand on her shoulder and she felt a tiny surge. The headache lessened.

“Thanks.”

“I did the same for myself a few minutes ago,” he admitted. They walked in silence onto the deck of the Eden Horizon.

“I never paid a whole lot of attention to planar things - I mean, I know what the planes are obviously but it was never as interesting as history." Beau rubbed her face. “Maybe we give Orly our new boat and then teleport to Zadash? I’ll have to go to the library. Tonight, though, I just want to get drunk.”

“I wouldn’t mind a few myself. Maybe Veth will share the flask.”  
“She better, I gave her a pretty good vintage I had a while ago.” They examined one of the ballista. “Maybe if we tell her she can work on fitting this with cannons she’ll do it,” Beau said.

“I have to wonder though if drinking is perhaps a bad choice on an island that already takes away your memories.” Fjord mused.

“Wouldn’t killing Vokodo end that? I don’t feel like someone’s looking over my shoulder anymore.” Despite the now nearly-gone headache, the healing burn marks, and the sick feeling in her chest about a vague and menacing threat from the astral plane, Beau felt like she could breathe fully for the first time since they’d set foot on Rumblecusp.

“I have to admit I have no idea. I’ve been able to do magic for less than a year, Beau; we’ll have to ask someone who’s been doing it longer.”

“We can try Jester. Caduceus and Caleb seemed a little on edge.”

“They did. I think we’re all a little shaken, to be fair, but that was a rough time on them especially - keeping everyone shielded and, well, alive.” Fjord crouched to check the boards of the deck.

“This island’s been rough on them. For someone who’s all in touch with nature I think Caduceus is having a pretty bad time.”

“I guess it has. I’m supposed to protect this - nature - you know, but it keeps attacking us,” said Fjord. He sat down on the deck, and Beau joined him.

“Have you talked to him?” asked Beau.

“About nature? Sure.”

“No, about the fact that he’s fallen into holes and his family was frozen for years because of one of those gifts from the Wildmother. He’s got to have about as much stuff going on in his head as Jester.”

Fjord made a noncommittal noise.

Beau rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. “Fjord. You’ve been keeping an eye on everyone. You’ve been talking to Jester, and Caleb - you came up to me in Zadash and I know I'm not exactly welcoming, or whatever. How have you missed Caduceus? You talk with him all the time!”

Fjord looked as though he was about to answer, then paused, then looked back down at the deck.

“Did I tell you what happened the night I threw away the sword?” he said.  
“You said you’d had a rough night and you threw the sword into the lava? It was a really good talk. I was still like, half-asleep to be honest, that cave was really nice and warm and we’d had a rough few days.”

“I threw the sword into the lava as a last resort. I tried to bargain with...you know, first.”

“How?” asked Beau.

“With myself. With...I held the sword to my own throat. Well, chest. Doesn’t matter. Sort of a case of well, you need me to do your bidding, and that’s the only chip I've ever had to bet.”

Beau was silent, as she looked at Fjord, who was running a hand along the wood grain of the ship.

“It didn't work, of course. I mean, why would it, it's a fucking demigod. Then I went to Caduceus. He healed me, no questions asked - he still doesn’t know how I got that wound although I’m sure he could figure it out, he caught me before I passed out, he told me - he talked with me until I was able to go back to bed. And even before that, when the Wildmother first appeared in my dreams I went to him. Beau, that man has seen me at my lowest, and I can help him, sure, I can heal him and stand in front of him with a sword, and I swear that I will. But what am I going to say to him? What will that do? You’re right, I know something’s wrong but he's the teacher, why would he listen to me?” His hand had clenched at that point. Beau noticed he’d done so just before he would have scratched the wood of the deck.

“I didn't realize. That's...that's big, Fjord, but the part you're saying about Cad? That’s just bullshit. I mean, pretend you were saying this to him about someone else. Like wouldn’t he say that you were still helpful?”

Beau had intended this to be supportive, in the tough way she and Fjord tended to talk to each other, but this appeared to unexpectedly hit a nerve. Fjord stayed frozen for a moment before looked up at her again, nearly expressionless, and slowly nodded. 

They both sat for a while on the deck, until Beau stretched out and stood up, holding out a hand to Fjord.

“Come on, let’s make Veth give us her flask. It's a cheat day. We killed a god and I'm getting over a bad headache.”

“Yes, let’s.” said Fjord, clearing his throat. “I’ll ask Veth for her expert opinion on ballistae. It’s no cannons, but I’m pretty sure she’ll have an equally fun time with any projectile.”

“Maybe she can do that lightning spell with it.”

“Maybe she can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME FOR BEAU'S OPINION (which is correct)
> 
> More seriously there is this mental block when a friend who's helped you through a crisis is going through their own issues; it's not that you don't want to help, it's that it's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that you can.


	3. She worried a lot, and she cared a lot (Jester, Veth, and Vilya's conversation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester? casting sending? it's more likely than you think.  
> (Jester and Veth talk with Vilya).

“I don’t know much about the astral plane. My people protected the portals to the elemental planes, honoring those barriers. But I would say this is something you will want to act on.”

“Did you know anyone in Tal’Dorei who could help?” asked Veth. Jester elbowed her gently. 

“I’m not sure anyone I would have known who could help with this is still available. Perhaps my husband became stronger - I can’t quite reach the planes without a portal. Or my daughter, I suppose.” Vilya took a deep breath at that.

“Do you want me to try to message them?” asked Jester after a moment. “I have one more spell I can use for messages. We’ll go back to the village tomorrow anyway, and...if something happened if it’s alright I would rather find out in the morning.”

Vilya smiled sadly. “I think the village is probably alright, at least from the eruption. We have a warning system, and it is built to not be in the path of a flow, at least typically. I don’t know about you messaging them though - don’t you need to know them? It’s been so long. My daughter has definitely grown, and my husband probably looks different.”

“What are their names?” asked Veth.

“My husband is Korren, and my daughter is Keyleth. She was about 14 when I left.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what did she think when you left?” 

“Veth has a son,” interjected Jester.

“Yes, Luc. He’s five.” Veth said.

“Keyleth was...she was proud, but definitely worried. She worried a lot, and she cared a lot.” Vilya looks close to tears.

“Oh! I have an idea. We know someone who is on the Tal’Dorei council, and maybe she can like, find your daughter, let her know - unless you want it to be a surprise? I can message her!” said Jester excitedly.

“I am really not in the mood for surprises. I think that’s a good idea.”

Jester looked around, but Fjord had taken a walk with Beau, and Caleb, Caduceus, and Yasha appeared to be having a serious conversation on the other side of the boat they were resting on.

“Veth, count!” she said, then began. “Allura! It’s Jester. We found a woman on this island who lost her memory but has it back now. Vilya. Daughter Keyleth. You know her?”

Veth made a bit of a face and Vilya’s brow furrowed as Jester shrugged apologetically. The message came back quickly.

“Jester - I do know a woman named Keyleth. Do you have any more information? What island?”

“What’d she say?” asked Veth impatiently.

“She said she knows someone named Keyleth! She wants to know what island! Shit! I didn’t say what island and I don’t think I have any more spells! Oh man!” Jester threw her head back dramatically, then heard Allura’s voice again.

“Jester? If you aren’t able to message me any more, please reply to this. Any information will help.” Jester gestured excitedly, then sat up straight to respond.

“We are on Rumblecusp. She’s a druid, she has red hair, she lost a leg, she said she was from Tal’Dorei. Husband is named Korrin?” Vilya nodded slowly.

“I’ll pass this on. It’s late at night here - I’m about to go to sleep. Please message me when you next can.”

“Okay, good night! Vilya said her daughter worried a lot but she loves her! Be careful if you come here, there is a volcano but we’re okay!”

“I’m not sure she got the end of that,” said Veth, holding up one hand. “I think she got that there’s a volcano maybe?”

“Thank you,” said Vilya softly. “I’m glad Keyleth is doing well. I hope...my husband is still alive, but either way, it will be good to see my daughter.” Her eyes filled with tears. Jester moved over to sit next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

“I am sure she will love you so much. I met my dad for the first time this year and it was a little hard at first, but it’s going okay, and she knew you before. And once we make sure all your friends on this island are safe and we can get them home you can go to Tal’Dorei with that tree spell.”

“That’s true,” said Vilya. “That’s my plan, if your friend knows that Keyleth’s with the Ashari. For all I know she could be on the same journey I took.” She looked pensive. “I want to save my spells tomorrow, but after that I can scry on her, perhaps.”

“It will work out,” said Jester. “Don’t worry about the city. You can worry about Vo and your daughter.”

“We’ll take care of it,” promised Veth.  
Vilya’s nods of thanks were broken by the sound of Beau’s voice.

“Hey Veth? Can we use your flask? Fjord and I checked out the boat and now we want to get drunk.”

She handed it over. “Have fun. Caleb’s bringing back Frumpkin but once he’s done, give it to him and Yasha too. It’s been a rough day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relatively short, both because it feels weird for them to confide a bunch in Vilya, and because I will never top the actual Jester conversation about her emotions from episode 105


	4. Sunrise Activity (coda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura comes to deliver Jester's message

Once, when she was saving the world every day, Keyleth had been able to sleep at any time and nearly anywhere. She’d found lately that this wasn’t the case any more. She’d considered asking her friends, then considered that four of them were parents and the other was Grog who genuinely preferred to sleep in the most inhospitable places possible, and thought better of it. She still slept well, but she was an early riser now.  
She liked it, the feeling of being alone with her thoughts. Others in Zephrah also woke up early but there was an unspoken agreement among the Ashari that one’s sunrise activities were a sacred and personal time, and unless there was an imminent threat this was honored even for the Voice of the Tempest herself.  
After her morning walks she would return home, either to make coffee or tea for herself or for her father who would often walk over to join her for breakfast. Occasionally someone would be waiting; Keyleth had decided to take an open door policy quite literally. Anyone who would be a threat wouldn’t be deterred by a lock.

She was surprised, however, to see Allura sitting at the table. Allura rose.

“Allura! Good to see you - is everything alright in Emon?”

“Yes,” said Allura, holding a warm cup of tea out to Keyleth.

“Thank you. In that case, what brings you here?”

“I have...news. It’s not bad news - it’s probably good news - but it’s significant news. Is your father around?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this is a cop-out but also I've tried to write the Allura/Keyleth conversation multiple times, well before this episode, and honestly I think it's best left to the reader.

**Author's Note:**

> It's really hard to write the party actively checking up on Caduceus, particularly since Caduceus needs to get to a point where he lets them do that, but I hope to at least write them into the point of getting their act together enough to do so in the near future.


End file.
